Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
