it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
Randomize
