i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize
