What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
