Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
