real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Randomize
