No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
