arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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