So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
Pregnant stripper...not hot.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
