A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
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