Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
Randomize
