"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
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