yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Randomize
