If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
