My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
