do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Randomize
