Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Randomize
