Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
