Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
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