Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
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