I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
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