So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Randomize
