Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Randomize
