so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
there was a trapeze. enough said
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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