Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
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