His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
whose parrot is this?
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Randomize
