My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
When did angry sex become our thing?
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
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