we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Randomize
