If i come over, it means nothing
is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize
