Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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