we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Randomize
