It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
Randomize
