She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
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