Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
