Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize
