Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
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