someone threw a dead crab at me
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
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