Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize
