how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
