How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
I believe in your delicious
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
Randomize
