the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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