Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize
