I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
He did a backflip because drugs
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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