everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Randomize
