# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
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