Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Randomize
