My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
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