im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
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