Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Randomize
