So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
