All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
