left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Randomize
