this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Randomize
