bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Randomize
