Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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