And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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