I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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