My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
