Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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