me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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