I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Randomize
