whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
