Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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