I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
