your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
